Dating is great, but sometimes you just don’t have the time or energy needed for full on dating and relationships.
How do you solve this conundrum?
A Fuck buddy is the perfect compromise. It involves all the fun with none of the hardship (Only hard thrusts on a regular basis).
What’s not to love about the idea of having no-strings-attached sex with some you like, but don’t necessarily want a future with?
Still, a friends with benefits relationship can be tricky if you two aren’t setting the ground rules. To avoid confusion, awkwardness, and disappointments, here are some things to keep in mind:
1. Set Expectations
To begin with, you have to lay down the “friends with benefits rules and law” early.
If you’re looking for regular casual sex without the commitment, then you’re on the right track, but if you’re hoping to get with a special someone and think this will be your “in” then you are on a bad path.
Be brutally honest with yourself about what it is you really want and why you want it. Whatever your situation, it’s better to figure it out now than for it to come out later. That’s how things can get messy.
2. Be Emotionally Ready
If you aren’t emotionally prepared, casual sex can be anything but casual.
Some guys are able to disassociate the act from the emotion, but others struggle with this, and that’s okay – you just need to make sure you’re 100% okay with having casual no-strings attached sex that won’t lead to anything serious or deeper.
3. Be Prepared
For a Fuck buddy arrangement there needs to be a willing partner (obviously). When you find someone of a similar mindset to you who seems interested then be prepared to take the opportunity.
But make sure to choose the right type of person. Does this someone have a crush on you and think of this as a stepping stone into a relationship? That’s a huge shitstorm in the making.
Are two of you best friends who spend lots of time together, but have never got it on? That too can be a huge recipe for disaster.
There’s a reason it’s called Fuck buddy and not Fuck best friends. DON’T MIX FRIENDS.
Over time there will be plenty of opportunities with acquaintances and friends of a friend where there is sufficient emotional distance as to not make things complicated.
When you find them, make sure to be on your game.
4. Do It Once, Then Set “Friends With Benefits Boundaries”
Once you’ve had sex for the first time, this is the pivotal part of the process.
It is very difficult to make someone an Fuck buddy without first having sex with them, but once you’ve done the deed it’s much easier to make it happen again.
The most important thing is to play it cool and to set boundaries from the start.
If you wake up after a midnight romp you want to avoid all pitfalls of one-night stands and relationships.
Don’t run off into the night while she’s asleep. Don’t cuddle and whisper sweet nothings in her ear.
This is neither a drunken one-night stand filled with regret nor a magic moment you’ve been waiting for all your life.
This is two people (heck, maybe more) who know each other, had enjoyable sex and would like to do it again sometime. No big deal.
So be cool, act nonchalant, and talk positively about the situation. Tell her it was fun, and perhaps you would like to make this a more regular thing.
Now that you have a Fuck buddy, make sure to avoid any potential pitfalls that await you. You have to limit interactions outside of the bedroom. This means;
- No going on dates
- Don’t talk/meet every day
- No gifts
- No Heart to hearts
- No cuddling on the couch to watch romantic movies
Those situations only set you up for failure. By failure, I mean you’ll catch that airborne illness more commonly known as “feelings” and that’s when things start to get really messy.
An Fuck buddy arrangement will require constant maintenance and upkeep. Keep an eye on how both of you are feeling; is there growing attachment, co-dependency, are you seeing other people, and if so is there any burgeoning jealousy?
These are all signs that a relationship is developing. If that’s what you both want then great, go for it, but if not that brings me to my next point.
6. Have An Exit Strategy
Fuck buddies won’t last forever (the ones that do are called marriages).
It can remain for a long time depending on how regular your meetings are and how much emotional distance you have maintained, but sooner or later something’s gotta give.
Either the arrangement peters out, one of you meets someone new, one or both of you will develop feelings for the other, etc.
Any number of things can happen so you must have an exit strategy that allows you to get out while causing as little damage/hardship as possible.
This could mean trying for a relationship. It could mean “breaking up”, or just letting things run their course. It was fun while it lasted.
And there we have it. Follow these steps and you too can have your cake and eat it.
Until next time…
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Till next time,
What To Say To Be Her Fuck Buddy – On Repeat
A Zen master once said to his student, “If you aspire to hit a target, you must first see it.”
And this is true – especially if you’re a guy looking to be “friends with benefits” with every girl you like.
She could be a co-worker, a neighbor, a childhood friend, or that cute girl you had a crush on…
If you could think of one, then congratulations – you’ve already marked your target.
And in that case, there’s only one thing left to do and it’s easy…
In other words, this is simply how you “convince” her to be friends with benefits with you… no matter your looks, age, or income.
You see, most of us men tend to put up a little show to seduce gorgeous girls wherever we go.
And it’s okay – even in the animal world, male alligators put on extraordinary displays of courtship to attract females.
But beware… putting in too much effort makes you look needy and desperate – a big turn-off for many women.
Truth is, you don’t have to sign up at any sleazy hook-up site, or go to bars wasting hours to check out a tipsy lady, or even leave the comforts of your home.
Because once you get the hang of this simple “trick”, and build your own harem of girlfriends on demand…
They will practically appear at your doorstep whenever you’re turned-on, bored, or even lonely… and you want someone to enjoy a wild banging session with.
And the best part?
Everything falls into place without any commitment, without drama, and without a partner to take care of.
…and these hot, lustful girls “rotate” and coo around you like animals in heat.
Seize the day,
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Mike Haines is a highly sought-after dating coach and relationship expert at Real Dating Psychology and is known for his ability to help his clients create meaningful and lasting connections. With over 10 years of experience in the field, Mike has worked with individuals and couples from all walks of life, helping them to navigate the complex world of dating and relationships.
He is a graduate of the University of Southern California (USC) with a degree in Communications and has worked with some of the most prominent dating coaches and relationship experts in the industry.