Why Am I Sexually Attracted To Older Men?

 

We have all heard the phrase, “love is blind,” but is that the case? When a younger woman dates an older man, whispers of her intentions, his morals, and their relationship are sure to flow.

Despite media portrayals of young trophy wives sporting fancy jewelry and designer shoes, there are numerous reasons younger women find themselves sexually attracted to older men.

It is not always about the money.

In many ways, love is blind. After all, age is just a number. While there is nothing wrong with being attracted to an older man, you may question why this sexual attraction exists in the first place, I know I did.

When I was in my 20s I discovered that I had a strong sexual attraction to an older man I knew, and it was confusing and uncomfortable for a long time. I denied it, avoided it, and ignored it until I couldn’t anymore.

Once I accepted the feelings I was experiencing and embraced the opportunity, it was so vastly different than any other relationship, and it literally changed my perspective on myself and the world.

There are many explanations for why I was attracted to this older man (and those that followed him). Below we look at some of the reasons older men are so appealing to younger women

“Why Am I Sexually Attracted To Older Men?” – Here Are 7 Reasons Why

 

Older men have always been appealing to women. You see this clearly when it comes to red carpet celebrities. I mean, who hasn’t crushed on George Clooney, or dreamed of Gerard Butler?

While women often hit the peak of their career before they reach their 30s, it is not uncommon for a male actor in his 40s, 50s, or even 60s to win the hearts of viewers on the big screen.

While we do not need a study to understand why older men choose to date younger women, the reverse is often not as obvious.

So…

What Attracts A Younger Woman To An Older Man?

Uncovering the answer to this age-old question is simple and complicated all at the same time.

Despite stereotypes, maturity, wisdom, experience, and security often play a significant role in the tendency for young females to be sexually attracted to older men.

So, what exactly makes a man past his prime so darn appealing?  

 1.    Confidence Is Key.

Older men tend to appear more confident and comfortable in their skin. They have experienced life and taken the time to understand themselves in a way that younger men have yet to do, which is extremely attractive to women of all ages.

“The thing I love most about dating older men,” Kylee, 21, says. “is that they do know a lot of things and are more than willing to teach them to you.”  

“My 45-year-old boyfriend taught me so much, in the bedroom and in the world. It would have taken me years to learn these things otherwise.”  

The confidence of older men is often an irresistible aspect.

Younger guys are usually clueless and stumbling through life at a slower rate than the women their age. Having a man who knows what he is doing and can show you the ropes is invaluable.

Some of the benefits of confidence in older men:

• • • Inflated confidence means that older men exhibit less jealousy than their younger counterparts – which is always a plus for sexual attraction and romance.
    • An older man will allow his partner more freedom without worrying about where she is or what she is doing.
    • Older men also tend to be more romantic and less worried about what other people think of them.
    • Increased confidence leads to less conflict and, thus, a more stable relationship.  

Whether you want to admit it or not, confidence significantly impacts all our behaviors, regardless of gender or age, and is a crucial factor in why young women are sexually attracted to older men.

2.   Genetics Play a Role.

An older man that is good-looking and confident may be attracted to a younger woman for purely genetic reasons, and the same works in reverse.

Although we hide it well, humans are still animals, and while we have evolved and adapted our behaviors to fit societal needs, we still have an innate desire to procreate.

Seeing an older man who is healthy, attractive, successful, and able to provide for the future can sometimes be enough to kick our natural yearnings into overdrive and inspire us to secure him as a mate.

How men age will also play a role in attractiveness. The better-looking the man, the more attractive he will be, for genetic purposes at least.

“When an older man is still attractive in his late 40s, it says a great deal about genetics,” explains Holly, a 21-year-old woman working as a genetic researcher.

“Combine this with the innate desire to prolong our generation and species, and you cook up the perfect recipe for the sexual appeal found in older men.” 

Thus, the tendency for younger women to be sexually attracted to older men may be ingrained within our genetic makeup.

3.   Safe and Secure.

Older men are often more stable in their lives, which is very appealing and provides a sense of security that often gains attention from younger women.

“The best part about dating an older man,” Ashley, 24, tells us, “is that he was naturally generous, extravagant, and spontaneous. We could wake up and decide to go to Paris or take a trip down the coast on a whim because he was at a place where he had the financial security to do so.”

While it is not all about money, financial security does play a role in why younger women are attracted to older men. However, other factors influence women’s sense of security.  

In our 20s, we are generally at our most attractive point in life. Our young bodies are fresh and effervescent, providing curves that men of all ages find appealing.

Unfortunately, as we age, time takes its toll, and by mid-life, our once perky body parts are barely a silhouette of what they once were.

Older women are not less attractive. On the contrary, age, experience, and wisdom make older men and women more attractive in many people’s opinions.

Still, the changes our bodies go through with age are no secret. Multi-billion dollar companies have been built off the prevention of these known changes in women, with new products hitting shelves every day.

Carol, 42, explains, “I have spent so much money on anti-aging creams at this point that I could have bought a small country.”

Carol, a stunning woman that anyone would describe as beautiful, is not alone in her quest for youth. Women worldwide buy into the hype, racing to the store to snatch up products that claim to reverse the aging process. 

While women throw money to giant retailers, men do not.

Unlike women, men do not experience the same physical changes with age. While some of this may be due to environmental and sociological factors, it is also likely that the strain women place upon their bodies to be beautiful has adverse effects over time.

The sexual attraction that young women experience for older men may have much to do with the fact that age affects men differently than women, and like a fine wine, some men improve with time.

However, as noted, this sexual attraction could also have sociological roots.

The security that an older man can provide, including financial security and stability, appeals on a deep, sometimes biological level.

Men often become more stable with age in all aspects of their lives. This increased stability means older men are better equipped to financially and emotionally provide for a woman, creating an essential sense of security.

Kate, 22, explains it like this, “The truth is, when all the men your age are running wild and sleeping around, an older man can be the breath of fresh air you crave.”   

4.   Better Communication.

Everyone’s communication skills improve with age, and men are no exception.

Life experiences, and the valuable lessons they provide, enable us to better communicate our needs as we grow.

You can see the power of communication all around you.

When you were a baby, the only way to express yourself was through shrill cries that beckoned your parents, alerting them to your needs, which they then figured out through elimination, experience, and wisdom.

Ask any parent, and they will tell you that they eventually began to distinguish their infant’s cries and could subsequently sense what each type of cry indicated.

I know that I was able to determine what my children needed by the sound of their screams within the first few weeks of their lives.  

As people grow older, they gain language. This incredible ability allows us to express our needs, wants, and desires more effectively.

How we learn to talk when we are little can be used to understand how men emotionally mature as they get older.

Their use of language and expressive ability continue to improve as they age, making them better attuned to a woman’s needs and better able to express their own. 

Young women often find older men are better at communication, which is the key to a strong, healthy bond.

An older man understands that to get what you want, you must know how to communicate your needs.

Thus, age has given them a valuable tool for appealing to younger women.

Let’s be honest, men in their 20s are crap at communication, and their video console often gets better conversation out of them than their girlfriend.

On the other hand, older men tend to understand the importance of clear communication in a relationship, which is a massive turn-on for any woman. 

5.   Time, Effort, and Attention.

Along with being better at communication, older men tend to understand the value of quality time.

When we are younger, we often date jerks that blow us off to play video games or go out with the boys on a Friday night.

While this is common for young men, it is thankfully a trait many outgrow with age.

Your ex forgetting the plans you made to spend time together was probably pretty upsetting at the time, but rest assured, it will someday get better. Unfortunately, that day could be a long way off, and you may be waiting a while.

Thankfully, older men often provide younger women with the time, effort, and attention they crave.

The primary point I noticed when I first began to date older men was the differing levels of respect they held compared to guys my age. Older men stick to their word. They do not forget your birthday, cancel plans at the last minute, or stand you up without a call. 

As men age, they realize how important time is to a relationship and put in more effort. Perhaps a history of failed relationships and years of experience brought them to this point, but they get it, and that is what matters.

It is not uncommon for women in their twenties to complain about guys their age being too busy hanging out with friends or partying to spend quality time together.

In fact, Sarina, 19, recently complained, “It feels like I am always second in my man’s life. Whether it is a last-minute call from his buddies to go to the club or an extension of time playing some sport, our plans are often an afterthought, which is frustrating.”

Sarina’s plight is not uncommon. Women complain that their men are too busy to make time for them.

 

As Cheryl, 18 put it, “I sometimes feel like the third wheel on some freaky fair ride. It sucks.” 

Those women who have moved on to older men are often astonished by the time their new partner has to spend with them.

With age, men realize that hanging out with friends, going to parties, or playing video games is never as satisfying as spending time with their significant other.

While boys eventually grow up and become men, the process can take a significant amount of time, and you will be left waiting impatiently for them to mature.

6.   Women Are More Mature.

Speaking of maturity, you have probably heard that women are more mature than men, which is true.

Women tend to mature, at least emotionally, at a faster rate than men.

In fact, according to one British study, the age gap between men and women spans almost 11 years.

This difference in emotional maturity means that a 20-year-old woman will likely have more in common with an older man than one her age.

Due to this age gap in emotional maturity, it is not uncommon to see a 21-year-old woman with a 30+-year-old man.

Older men are often more willing to commit to a long-term relationship and are more financially stable, socially connected, and secure than younger men.

Unlike a 21-year-old, an older man is often ready and able to achieve these desired goals and even shares them himself.

These maturity factors appeal to young women who are starting to consider their future and contemplating marriage and offspring.  

7.   Experience.

Although men mature slower than women, experience helps them grow and develop.

Since older men have ‘been there and done that,’ they have (hopefully) learned valuable lessons from past mistakes.

When it comes to the sexual attraction younger women have for older men, this earned experience is often essential.

All the above factors help create a solid foundation that leads to a good time in the bedroom.

An older man’s confidence, communication, and sensitivity align him more with a woman’s needs, making him a beast in the bedroom.

“I have never had a better sexual encounter than with a 52-year-old,” says Trinity, 23. “It was as if he immediately and innately knew what I liked and did it all the way I wanted it done to me without me even saying a single word.”  

 

Time teaches us a great deal, and these lessons spill over into the bedroom. Older men are often more experienced, attentive, and eager to please than younger men who want in and out quickly and focus on their pleasure rather than their partners.

It is no surprise why women are drawn to older men. Their security, experience, and wisdom, coupled with a decrease in the adverse effects of aging, make mature males prized companions in society today.

Despite constant talk and portrayals of young women who date older men being golddiggers or having daddy issues, there is valid evidence to support this type of sexual attraction on a much deeper level that is deeply ingrained in our genetic makeup.

Still, many people question where to draw the line.

For example, a 22-year-old woman dating a 40-year-old man may be acceptable to society, but what if that same woman chooses to date an 80-year-old man? Is that any less understandable?

While age is only a number, is there a point where an age gap is too big to breach? If so, when? And more importantly, why?

To get answers to the above questions and more, check out the video below to discover What Attracts A Younger Woman To An Older Man

 

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